The folks over at Libertas had an interesting post up: "Top-Five Critically-Lauded Movies I Simply Detest". That got me thinking of the many times I've come out of a movie theatre after seeing a film that critics raved about, thinking "what the hell was that all about?" So, without further ado, here is my personal Top 10 List of critically-acclaimed films that I really didn't like, in no particular order:
2001 - A Space Odyssey
This was a great novel by the late Arthur C. Clarke, but the movie is a bloated monstrosity. Didn't anyone have the cojones to tell Stanley Kubrick, Famous Director - "Excuse me Mr. Kubrick but we think your movie is about an hour too long and unnecessarily obtuse"?
A Clockwork Orange
Dances With Wolves
Critics gushed over how original & beautiful this film was, but I found it boring & patronizing. It's not enough anymore just to make a beautiful film - National Geographic does that every month - it's got to have something other than just a politically-correct lecture about white liberal guilt wrapped in beautiful photography. And excuse me, Kevin Costner is no David Lean - watch Lawrence of Arabia and then watch Dances With Wolves - I rest my case. And while we're on the subject of Kevin Costner - watching him act is like watching the Canadian Parliamentary Access Channel.
What can I say? This movie was a melodramatic tear-jerker, and watching Tom Hanks play the mentally-challenged lead character was like a trip to the dentist.
Good lord, what a mess this movie was. After about half an hour, I was praying for an iceberg. Titanic - the Love Story ? Give me a break. Why not Pearl Harbor - the Love Story? (Oops - it's been done.) And putting Leonardo di Caprio in a movie is the kiss of death for me.
Lost in Translation
Sorry, I just didn't get it. And talk about SLOW.
The English Patient
I just couldn't drag up an ounce of interest or sympathy for any of the characters in this movie, even though I liked the book. Ralph Fiennes just rubs me the wrong way anyway.
See above comments on politically-correct lectures about white liberal guilt.
I've never been a big Robert Altman fan, but this movie was a disjointed disaster. Was it a murder mystery? A period drama about the English class system? Who knows.
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Francis Ford Coppola needs an editor. This movie was too long, and it couldn't decide whether it was a serious treatment of the classic novel or a parody. Gary Oldman was ridiculous as the lead character, and Wynona Rider & Keanu Reeves sucked the life out of every scene they were in.
There - I feel better now.